The Stuff I Can't Change

Our family Christmas is amazing, unbelievable, more than I deserve.  My kids, no matter birthed from my womb, or my heart, join in the chaos that is our family.  Some people would look in our window and think that the everyday life is that, chaos. But those that know, those that love within our God given circle of children and adults, know that the chaos is just the life that flows within the ties that bind us all together.  Family, not necessarily birthed, but chosen on all fronts.

In the midst of all the traditions today, and this evening, I was caught in a sadness, a bubble if you like, of seeing life in the chaos of the kids, and grandkids, and paper, and presents.  Laughter, life, hope, future, little ones running around in their dress up princess costumes, and others having nerf gun fights, while others texting each other for the first time on their new phones, then I made the phone call to my elderly parents, one in hospital, and the other in an independent living facility.  While they were "chipper" as an Aussie would say, I know they were making the best of a not so pleasant Christmas.

I cannot be in two places at once and I know that my family in Australia does the very best they can, but there is something in my heart that breaks knowing my elderly parents, married for some sixty two years, not always joyful mind you, but married just the same, spent Christmas not with family, or even together.  I hate how life spins those twists and turns that make it impossible to be everything to everyone.  I have to admit that a few, or a couple, of my grandchildren wondered why "Grammy" was upset on this joyous day, but I hope that I am not in that position in the years to come.

I was lucky to have my mother in law for so many years come and be a part of our lives, and I wish my parents were a little closer, and not with the health issues that challenge them at this time of their lives.  There is nothing I can change, other than pray for their continued well being, and nothing my sisters can do other than be there when they can.  They also have families, children, and grandchildren who need them and, the responsibility of elderly parents, is not always clear cut, easy, or able to always work out to be the best for all concerned.

So another Christmas has come, and is about to end in just a few small hours, but the sense of family, past, elderly, young parents, children, grandchildren is with me, a blessing, a worry if I am being honest, a joy bringing love indescribable, and a commitment that is unending.  My family is the most important thing in my life above The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost and I am truly blessed to have every last one of them in my life.  I am particularly blessed to se my three eldest sons at home, who have struggled with their relationship over the last three and a half years, laugh, joke and be brothers.  There is no greater present than that for me.  Isaiah is healing.