Book update

Well I have not been blogging much but have been pounding the keys in a different way.  I am now 11 chapters and 55,000 words into my new book "Finding Friday".  It has been a very remarkable journey for me in the writing of this story based on the truth about getting Isaiah back from Liberia and of the struggles he has had since then.  One of the wonderful things that has come out of this is such a greater understanding of these kids' feelings and emotions in what they have endured and also the expectations that turned into disappointments in a lot of instances.

It has also made me see just how far he has come since I first picked him up in Brussels airport some two and a half years ago.  There I found a frightened, angry, insular kid, who wanted to be out of Liberia, but not sure exactly where he wanted to be in America.  He did not want to return to his previous adoptive home, but he certainly wasn't ready to commit to a new family either.  He wanted to learn, go to school, but had no idea of the work ethic that would require, and tried every trick he could to remain in control of everything in his little life.

He battled his new brothers, both physically and mentally, he isolated himself away from his sister, and tried desperately to hide himself in his own corner amidst a large family of twelve people living in a house.  And, remarkably, he accomplished that for quite some time, but eventually the human spirit needs comfort and affirmation, and gradually, painfully, he emerged slowly to begin to grow and understand there was a different journey for him to travel on other than one of control and isolation.

I would not say his journey is complete, but it gave me much joy at Thanksgiving to see him surprised to find genuine love for his new little nephew, Sammy.  We had the absolute pleasure of having CeCe and her little family, Sam, her husband, and Sammy their beautiful little boy home for the holiday.  Unfortunately on the way they wrecked their car in terrible weather, but God is good, because instead of only have a couple of days, that turned into five days in which we could all catch up and have family time.  Now, we are really excited to know CeCe and Sam are moving back to Georgia before Christmas.  Sam is transferring in his job, and they are working with my other daughter Louise to buy a home here, just 20 minutes or so north.  This is such a great move for everyone, especially Isaiah.  He can hardly wait.  It is wonderful to see, after all this time of loneliness and mistrust, he has found love in his heart for a tiny baby, who looks a lot like his uncle.

I have set myself a deadline with the book and am managing to write somewhere between 3-5000 words or nearly a chapter a day.  This story, in much less detail, is being published by a New York journalist in a major magazine in January, so I am trying to finish by then.  All I can say, is that before I put this whole thing into words it was a tragic, sad, unfortunate story.  But when it is in print, it is shocking and terrible.  The writing has also brought back memories, which are good and bad for both children, but it has exposed stark truth that needs to be told in the hope that it will not happen to another child.  It has also brought both Isaiah and CeCe closer, and more knit into the family.  They both have trusted me with deep secrets, with the desire to dig them out of the dark and into the healing light.  I can say I am proud, and honored that God trusted me with these two incredibly strong kids.  I would not have thought I could say that before writing "Finding Friday".

Life

Had the most amazing get away with some wonderful friends for a little more than twenty four hours.  We went to a little town nestled in the mountains of North Carolina, called Boone.  Now I have heard about this place from my eldest son Shaun, who goes here to camp whenever it snows, but I had never visited.  I probably would have never experienced this amazing little town other than our friends happen to have a house there, high up on the mountain ridge overlooking the valley where the town is situated.

Sometimes, we just need r & r as the military call it, and we needed that.  My wonderful mother-in-law is slipping away, surely, but very gradually.  She is ninety eight and five months old, and has been an amazing influence in my children's and grandchildren's lives.  It is very hard to see someone you love slip away.  This lady has the most intelligent mind I know, skipped two grades in school, and was doing the New York Times crossword up until a few short months ago, when she slipped to the floor from some unknown issue that caused her to become totally blind and almost unable to get out of her chair by herself anymore.  She went to a nursing home three years and some months ago after having three heart episodes in ten days.  We had signed a DNR and believed her time had come.  Then, just like this amazing lady does, she rallied, but we knew we could not look after her medically any more and she moved into a nursing home.We have been lucky, she has come home for every birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas, but now, that is no longer possible.  She can barely feed herself and tonight was signed into hospice.  Our prayer is that our Lord takes her home in the most peaceful circumstance.

Our peaceful circumstance happened on the top of a mountain, overlooking a town called Boone, with wonderful believing friends who we could share our feelings.  It was almost orchestrated when the snow fell outside our picture window in our bedroom looking out over the valley below, with lights twinkling in the small town tucked into the valley, and the end of October long before we are supposed to be sprinkled upon by the white stuff.

God is good.

Running The Race

Running the race that is set before us is very different for each and everyone of us.  Success often gets confused with fame.  You can be famous, just think about it, and yet not be successful. I would prefer on every scenario to be successful.  Success is when you reach your goal, that hopefully you have set, and written down.  It comes in many forms, most of which do not lead to fame or fortune, but nonetheless, achieved and successful.

In another life, somewhere back in time, I was asked to be the motivational speaker for a cosmetic company, based on the fact that when we were in trouble with a business once, I became an Avon representative.  Of course, everyone laughed, jeered, made jokes about it, but within about six weeks, I was the #3 top seller in my district.  I moved quickly, within 6 months exactly, from representative, walking the streets in those days, to stand-in manager, then manager, with my own district, car and expense account.  That was success, not fame.  This is what I spoke about in my motivational speaker days.  In fact, I still tell people to not concentrate on the famous thing, but the success in what you are trying to achieve.

The race I run now is so different from back then.  In fact, I run several different races in one day.  But, the prize I run for is singular.  The quest in my mind is clear, although I do admit it has been clouded from time to time, mostly by pride, or rejection.  How do I get the message about the "lost" children out there?  How do I make a difference in how the church and the world perceive and understand the need, for not only intervention in this increasingly alarming number of children coming into care, or being orphaned, but rising to the need that exists for foster and adoptive parents to step up to the plate.  Once upon a lifetime ago, the church took care of this.  There were no agencies, at least here in our homeland, but, over time, we have become self involved, the task becoming so great it is better to either ignore or discard.

But, the fact remains, there are children, all around the world, who are orphaned, or taken into care, because of drugs and alcohol mostly, and in some third world countries where there is fighting and unrest, without parents, or, parents who have no income and are forced to leave their children in orphanages that have not enough staff, and not enough care and food.

This is my calling, and my mission to try, even in the smallest way, to bring awareness to the community at large about this growing need.

Answered prayer

God does answer prayer, even when we least expect it.  Life is a challenge and in that challenge, we sometimes forget that God is always there, just over our shoulder, looking down, watching for the exact moment when the Holy Spirit can fall and convict us.  That very thing happened yesterday when, it seemed, the whole sermon, in fact a word given to the pastor at 3 a.m. that morning, revolved around a couple of my kids.  In those moments, the hair rises on the back of your neck, a funny feeling hits you, and your mind is devoid of any other thoughts than the ones that the Holy Spirit is putting there.

We have been praying so hard that we had almost given up on our African rescue to be saved, or at least brought to a place where he understood there really was a God, not just a figment of your imagination, or a person heard of through many sermons and kind words from others.  Without God, he, as we are, is nothing.  Oh there can be lots of things that are human and even worthy, such as wealth and achievements, but there is nothing without the leading and following of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  All things fade away in value, when they are weighed against the will of God.

And after all the prayers and the worries of whether our child would ever let the guards down from his heart, it happened.  All in one day.  He walked forward, on his own, accepted the Lord, and prayed, sincerely prayed.  Not only for himself, but for his sisters, one who is free to talk to him, and one is kept away, banned, because he is "not a good influence".  I am sorely afraid, that is not the truth.  He is now redeemed, forgiven, blessed and his name is in the book of life.  And then, in the very same day, with wholehearted thanks to our friends Jocelyn and Garland, baptized in our pool just hours after his commitment.  Rog was in the pool with Gar, but there was just a little "dust" in the air.

This is not the first time I have really trusted God for salvation of one of my near and dear loved ones in my family, and I know it will not be the last.  Always, trust in God, He is the answer even if we are not looking for one.

Improv

Aussies, as in me, are very prone to improv.  That is, guests arrive at a minutes notice and you feed them, without question.You, as an Aussie, are required to have enough food on hand to feed whoever comes through your door.  Some people in my past church lives have been fooled into thinking this means I have a helps, or hospitality ministry.  Bah humbug!  I am just an Aussie who is supposed to be cordial.

Tonight that spontaneous visitor stuff just happened.  We were minding two of our littlest grandchildren, when friends suddenly phoned to say they were on their way to get goats milk and eggs, of which we have an abundance, and then our eldest son arrived with his kids and the fun began.  We forget that unplanned events can be some of the best times.  The company is what counts, and the food is secondary.

The children just had a riotous time, the noise level, must have busted some sound wave, good food was eaten, great conversation was had and none of it was planned.  I am sure that once upon a year many years ago, it was the same.  A neighbor called by unexpectedly and a memory was made.  I am so glad I do not so plan my days that I cannot still be caught up in the moment and just go with what happens next.

I go to my bed with unexpected grandchildren sleeping alongside my own, happy to be at "Glammy's" and waking up to some more good fun down at the farm.  Treasure these times, they are few in life.  I will always treasure them.

Miracles

In the last two years, I have walked such a fine line that has almost killed me, put me on the floor, wondered what the heck I took on.  But, I always knew that God put me here, in this very place, in this very circumstance to cope, grow, learn and parent in a way I never anticipated.  I have done a lot of parenting/foster-parenting classes over the last somewhat 14 years, but I don't think anyone anticipates the training needed for parenting a child from an overseas adoption that is not a baby, let alone a busted adoption.  Oh, this sort comes with all sorts of questions that are unanswered.

I have battled systems, regulations, state councils, Governers' offices, educational services, and a whole lot more, that could never answer my questions, or give solutions, to the problems we encountered in rescuing a dumped, green carded, American adoptee from another country.

Today, I have experience more than one miracle that can maybe give justice to this situation. Unfortunately, I cannot give the names of either, but, I can tell you first hand, I have hope, belief, and cause to do so, that God will rectify what has been done to innocent children that do not deserve for the abuse to continue.

It's Time

About a year ago, a very reputable journalist approached me through this blog for the real account of the journey of Isaiah and his sister CeCe.  I was very skeptical at first, but realized she was a genuine person. Over the last year we have become advocates for these children, although, I think, from different sides of the perspective.  While I am thinking from a very committed Christian point of view, she is coming from a doubting real Christianity view.  And, guess what, I don't blame her.  There are so many wrong points of view from so called "Christians" that, quite frankly, make you wonder what doctrine they are listening to.

But, we have met in the middle, and our interests, combined, regardless of what we believe, is in the future and past of these children.  These children have been used, abused, manipulated and discarded for pure human selfish and survival reasons.  They have been thrown aside without regard for their traumas, their sufferings, their somewhat hard to cope with survival instincts, that can separate and divide a formed family.  They end up in a pile or heap at the bottom, all because most of the adoptive parents are hoping for someone they can "save" "heal", or just make "them" feel like a hero.  Some of these kids are so damaged they cannot give anything back, or escape the "survival" disorder or phase, but some, a few, can get past that, with the right parenting, the right guidance, and that is without the wishy washy phase of giving in because the kid is "damaged" or "underprivileged".

Parenting these kids is tough, somewhat depilating, because you don't want to be hard, fixed, and demanding of what you need in them to survive in the family system.  But, God willing, you can, and do.
Some of this story is about to be released in a national magazine.  It has been accepted, to tell the whole story, in a magazine of which I do not know the name yet, but applaud their insight into a situation that needs rectifying, at the very least.

I might add, Isaiah and CeCe's sister is still in this situation, needing to be rectified.  If you believe in prayer, please pray.  There is a mandate in this country of no child left behind.  I can testify and provide proof, that both Isaiah and CeCe were left behind, so far in fact, that it was too much for  CeCe, and the utmost test and trial for Isaiah to make it in education.  It is tough when no-one sought or even cared to realize that education counts.