Well I must say that December was insane, with all the literal "drama" as well as the "staged" drama I was exhausted when it was over, only to rally to DisneyWorld with eight kids on a school program. Now, that, was, great. The kids had an amazing time, we had some "free" time, and memories were made by all. The two to three weeks of vacation over Christmas were hectic, with Isaiah coming home mid way through, and plays and dance recitals etc happening, leaving not much time for shopping, planning Christmas dinner, let alone relaxing or enjoying the "season".
In a family as large as ours, try as you might, you invariably miss something. Isaiah was great the first week home, started to present problems by the beginning of the second week, and definitely needed to return to immense structure by the end of it. He went back to school the same day as we drove to Disney with the others for their school visit. Timing is everything. I was worried he was going to be upset that the others were doing a school educational trip to Disney, but, that was not his major concern. He had been there done that, and, in his own way, for his own reasons, was happy to return to school where he had earned respect and credibility.
The struggle through this process has not only been Isaiah's, but the whole family's. At the end of it all the other kids needed a reward as much as he did, and, they got it, at Disney. Free to roam around, be themselves, and not be concerned about a young man that needed special attention, was the perfect solution. I will treasure riding the teacups at The Magic Kingdom with all of them at the close of the park. As foolish, and immature as that seems, it sets you free again, to be a child, laugh, love, not think what is being said or is coming against you, just to be free, living, loving and expressing that freedom in hugs, laughter, and memories.
Time to move on, to learn, expand, love more, laugh more, learn more, experience life for what it is. What we make it! In the end, life is held in our own hands, and, we can live it, grow from it, learn how to love and forgive from it, or we can become hard, unforgiving and bitter, only seeing the troubles not the successes. What do you see? I hope you continue to seek the path that is meant for only you, and if you struggle with that, then, don't worry, there is a peace beyond all understanding if only we will walk, talk, and follow the path we find ourself on.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
The Sad and The Glad
The holiday season has been really busy, in fact I'd own up to chaotic. I am a little "OCD" as well as a little hyperactive, but the last couple of months were almost beyond me. I have a couple of "triggers" in my family, you know the ones that start stuff, initiate it, continue it, spit it out till you have to deal with it. I always believe that prevention is better than cure, but there are a couple in my brood that do not adhere to that theory. You can't prevent it, and worse, you can't cure it.
Isaiah had mostly, a pretty good time home. But, even though I am not in his sister's life right now, I know that he should be, and try as I might, he was not calling, or buying that he should. All I could get out of him was that, "I love my sister, but not the drama". Period, end of conversation. Then I found out about the texts etc to the "girlfriend" he's never met, but is sending 750 texts a week to. Oh, the hazard of teenage boys. This would all be normal, and actually is, except that he hasn't had the normal amount of schooling and is so far behind it is NOT funny. So, as a parent, where do you draw the boundaries without sounding like you are as bizarre as his previous family. I sort of felt responsible because we gave him a phone with unlimited texting as part of his Christmas present. I am such a sucker when it comes to trying to reward or please my kids, not so much when it comes to their education and their future.
The unfortunate thing for Isaiah is the network he is now on doesn't work as well at Job Corps as the pay phone he had. Mmmmm....... You think there may have been a plan here that I wasn't aware of? Sometimes things all work for good.
So after Isaiah went back, we all headed for the YES program at Disney which sounds fun, and is, but is also a lot of too-ing and fro-ing for us parents. At the end of the third day of being "parked out" I received a voice mail from Jada's neurologist to say that she had an abnormal EEG consistent with epilepsy. I am glad that I know and can prevent this all with medicine, but am sad that this is for life, no going back to pretending that this will not happen again, but accepting this is reality. It is sort of funny for me to be sad about this because I have accepted without a blink, autism, bi-polar, tourette's, cerebral palsy, brain bleeds, OCD, ADHD, language disorders, allergies, you name it, but somehow this was the straw that broke the camel.
Mostly, adoptive children are made up of nature and nurture, and mostly nurture wins out, but in this case her birth mom is a diagnosed epileptic, and now my little "tween" Jada is also. While I take this all in I know that Meggie, her younger sister has also had three seizures, not as close as Jada has had these last couple, but nevertheless, she has had them. So testing for her is definitely in the future, with hopes that she does not live with this, but, if she does, then what do they say in the south about football, which I really don't understand, "Roll Tide". We will deal.
Isaiah had mostly, a pretty good time home. But, even though I am not in his sister's life right now, I know that he should be, and try as I might, he was not calling, or buying that he should. All I could get out of him was that, "I love my sister, but not the drama". Period, end of conversation. Then I found out about the texts etc to the "girlfriend" he's never met, but is sending 750 texts a week to. Oh, the hazard of teenage boys. This would all be normal, and actually is, except that he hasn't had the normal amount of schooling and is so far behind it is NOT funny. So, as a parent, where do you draw the boundaries without sounding like you are as bizarre as his previous family. I sort of felt responsible because we gave him a phone with unlimited texting as part of his Christmas present. I am such a sucker when it comes to trying to reward or please my kids, not so much when it comes to their education and their future.
The unfortunate thing for Isaiah is the network he is now on doesn't work as well at Job Corps as the pay phone he had. Mmmmm....... You think there may have been a plan here that I wasn't aware of? Sometimes things all work for good.
So after Isaiah went back, we all headed for the YES program at Disney which sounds fun, and is, but is also a lot of too-ing and fro-ing for us parents. At the end of the third day of being "parked out" I received a voice mail from Jada's neurologist to say that she had an abnormal EEG consistent with epilepsy. I am glad that I know and can prevent this all with medicine, but am sad that this is for life, no going back to pretending that this will not happen again, but accepting this is reality. It is sort of funny for me to be sad about this because I have accepted without a blink, autism, bi-polar, tourette's, cerebral palsy, brain bleeds, OCD, ADHD, language disorders, allergies, you name it, but somehow this was the straw that broke the camel.
Mostly, adoptive children are made up of nature and nurture, and mostly nurture wins out, but in this case her birth mom is a diagnosed epileptic, and now my little "tween" Jada is also. While I take this all in I know that Meggie, her younger sister has also had three seizures, not as close as Jada has had these last couple, but nevertheless, she has had them. So testing for her is definitely in the future, with hopes that she does not live with this, but, if she does, then what do they say in the south about football, which I really don't understand, "Roll Tide". We will deal.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Struggles
I don't think I can describe what a muddled, chaotic season of "fun" I have had. There has not been a precedence for the events that have evolved over the last few weeks, let alone an event I could even relate back to. I have an amazing family of older, what we call "Classic" Thompsons' and the newer or what is called the "New" Thompsons' and I love them all, but, yes but. Isaiah came home from school for nearly three weeks, and upon arriving was so positive, and on track, I couldn't be more proud. But. Yes, that word is something that is going to be a big part of this blog.
But, after getting part of his Christmas present which was a phone on our plan with unlimited texts etc, he suddenly was absorbed, no consumed with texting a girl he hasn't even met. Now us older derelicts, who God forbid met someone face to face before declaring our undying love, understand that the whole text, phone photo, undying promises are really not "real". Goodness, I have one child who has been "hoodwinked" by two much older "WOMEN" posing as young girls on a popular social media site, and all this psycho getting to know someone via the internet, is just that. PSYCHO!!!!!!!
I fear I did about as well as advising him of the consequences, was about as popular as I was with his older sister, but I do hope he has had enough parenting to know that I was not being an old, outdated, parent, but one who cares about his future. As the three weeks of holiday came to a close, I realized he had not called his sister, no blame on me there, both Rog and I had suggested that several times, and he had become more and more obsessed with a girl he did not know over his opportunity that he had worked so hard for. All I can say is "Youth is Wasted On The Young". And if you think that is a song title, it is, I wrote it.
But, after getting part of his Christmas present which was a phone on our plan with unlimited texts etc, he suddenly was absorbed, no consumed with texting a girl he hasn't even met. Now us older derelicts, who God forbid met someone face to face before declaring our undying love, understand that the whole text, phone photo, undying promises are really not "real". Goodness, I have one child who has been "hoodwinked" by two much older "WOMEN" posing as young girls on a popular social media site, and all this psycho getting to know someone via the internet, is just that. PSYCHO!!!!!!!
I fear I did about as well as advising him of the consequences, was about as popular as I was with his older sister, but I do hope he has had enough parenting to know that I was not being an old, outdated, parent, but one who cares about his future. As the three weeks of holiday came to a close, I realized he had not called his sister, no blame on me there, both Rog and I had suggested that several times, and he had become more and more obsessed with a girl he did not know over his opportunity that he had worked so hard for. All I can say is "Youth is Wasted On The Young". And if you think that is a song title, it is, I wrote it.
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